Contimplation

Well recently, I have found myself contiplating. Contimplating many things one of which is me not being here anymore. I know its sad, but sometimes you just can't find a reason to go on anymore. When you feel like a burden to everyone in your life, and there doesn't seem to be any happiness in sight you find yourself contiplating. I have been battling myself for the last few weeks; the battle that rages on inside my head isn't right. I know this however I don't know how to stop it. I talk to my future wife and that sometimes helps. But only sometimes, I almost feel myself slipping back into oblivion.
I know if I told her it would hurt her. I don't ever want to hurt her. She is the reason I haven't followed through. Without her I don't know where I would be, I can honestly say I probably wouldn't be here. I don't know, all I know is that if it wasn't for Aly I know for a fact I wouldn't be here. Hope all works out well. Thats all I can hope for at this point!